Another wave of book reports has brought us many laughs. I've written down several to share with you. The kids are supposed to read a book and then do the worksheets associated with their book. Lainy and Andrew both have had students hand in their book reports completely in Korean symbols. Fabulous.
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Maria, one of my upper level students was supposed to list items that she would take camping. She did this correctly, including a tent, sleeping bag, skin solution (sunscreen), backpack, and food... etc. On the next page the instructions said "Draw a picture of yourself with all of your equipment". Maria did not draw a picture of herself, in fact she drew a "W" and a chipmunk.
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Another student in the same class read a book on recycling. She had several paragraphs and she was supposed to fill in the blanks with words from the word bank. Trying to read her answers was much like reading a bad MadLib. Her answers are in bold:
In rich countries, each person throws away a sack of trash every 10 days. A village of six house would produce an amount of methane gas in waste every week.
Making one tonne of recycled paper saves in tress. This makes light bulb and saves enough energy for a year.
It takes three times more energy to make a new plastic bottle than a recycled one. Recycling one bottle saves enough energy to power a 350 people for 700 phonebooks.
Every year each person throws away 500 kilograms of green waste which is the same as methane gasskins. In landfill sites, green waste produces 850 banana, which is very smelly!
She only had two correct. On the next page she was supposed to write about how her family recycles and why recycling is important. She wrote:
My family are recycle every wednesday at 6:30 clock sometimes we are lazy we recycle at 7:50 clock my family are favirterecycle isa perpers because we are everyday study in the pa per.
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The next funny report doesn't come from one of my students, but from Lainy's student. The directions said:
Imagine you are a prince or princess, and you have to get married. Write down some of the traits that you would like your new husband or wife to have. Maybe you would like them to be similar to you. For example, they should care about the environment, or enjoy baseball, or maybe you would like them to be very different from you. Be creative in your thinking.
Her answer:
Castle has big flag. And in castle has big soccer stadium, baseball stadium, basketball stadium. It is move fast. I can jump. I love it.
This morning we had to go to the hospital to get a health check so we can get our Alien Registration Cards. We've been told the health check is somewhat of a joke. We saw two other foreigners who where there for their health checks as well. We talked to them for a little while but they got away before we could exchange contact information, which was a bummer because they were really nice.
It all started in the waiting room. As we sat there people who looked like they were in their last moments of life got carted around on stretchers through the busy waiting room. We felt that it was very awkward and we probably shouldn't be seeing that. People were walking around in their pajamas (they don't get buttless gowns... patients are given scrub-like pajamas) and carrying their IVs outside to have a smoke or go to the convenient store. Lainy, our coworker, lives across the street from the hospital and she said that she often sees hospital patients carrying their IVs in the convenient store.
We then got taken to a side room where a man told Lainy and I to take off our "top clothes". There was a man on an exam table with a big x-ray machine above him. And a man looking at him and a computer screen through a wall and a window. We had to walk behind him and go about four feet away to a small curtained area to take off our "top clothes".
I was put behind the curtain first. I wasn't sure what "top clothes" meant because I was wearing a tank top and an over shirt. I asked if I should take off the top shirt or both.
The man responded, "Yes, sure, okay."
I went behind the curtain and took off both shirts and put on a scrub top that was sitting there. I also saw scrub pants so I started taking off my jeans.
"NO! Not your underwear!" I hear through the curtain.
"Uh... but what about my pants?"
"Yes, sure, okay."
I continue to take off my jeans. "NO! Not your underwear!"
"No pants?"
"Just your top clothes."
"I keep my pants on?"
"Yes, sure, okay."
I put my jeans back on and went out fairly confused. He ushered me to the next room, so I assumed I did it correctly. Andrew was now off somewhere else. The man informed me that I was getting a chest x-ray. He put me chest first against a wall and hoisted my chin up really high. Then he put my arms behind my back almost as though I would be handcuffed and then pushed my elbows forward to touch the wall. This is not at all a comfortable position to be in. He then came back and pushed my chin up higher, and pushed my elbows against the wall again. I had to take in a deep breath and hold it for about 20 seconds until he finally snapped the x-ray.
I then went back to change and was ushered to the next room. I found Andrew in this tiny room, as well as a handful of other people. The lady handed me a dixie cup and said, "urine sample please". She then showed me to the bathroom. I didn't have to go to the bathroom so I couldn't manage much of a sample. I walked back to the room with my dixie cup of pee. I saw Lainy and she took a glance at my cup. I covered the top saying it was my pee. We both had a laugh. I got back to the room and had to set my cup down next to about 30 other dixie cups of pee. She had taken a marker and wrote a number down as identification.
We then all had a blood sample taken. Once that was finished we were again ushered to a different area of the hospital. One by one we were taken in to the room to get our blood pressure checked. Next was an eye exam where the lady pointed so far down on the chart that everything looked like periods.
Next was height and weight. I stepped on the scale. I could hear something mechanical above me. It wasn't until I was hit on the head that I realized a plastic object was coming towards my head. The plastic piece bopped me on the head and went right back up. That's how they told how tall we were.
After height and weight we had to sit in a chair and take a color blind test and hearing test. We were then told to go in the hallway and wait. Once we had all finished (including the other two foreigners) a man came out to talk to us. "Does anyone have TB or Hepatitis?"
We all shook our heads no.
"Okay. Then you are finished. Come back in one week for results."
We walked out of there wondering what the heck had just happened to us.
This weekend brought Chusok, the Korean equivalent of Thanksgiving. It is a three day holiday which started on Friday. It was nice to have Friday off work! The first day people are supposed to visit their mother's side of the family, the second day is for rest, and the third day you should visit your father's side of the family. A lot of food is eaten and traditional games are played. It is also customary to bring gift sets with you when you visit others.
On Thursday we were called to a staff meeting at work before classes started. We brought paper and pens to take notes. Once everyone had filed in, our boss came in to lead the meeting. It lasted thirty minutes and was completely in Korean. We sat there completely clueless. Every now and then everyone would burst in to laughter, sometimes looking at us. I wasn't sure if we should pretend to laugh along, or continue our blank stares.
After the meeting had finished Howard came up to us and gave us a three minute briefing on what the meeting was about. Part of it was that he was worried that Chusok was a time to spend with families, and he was worried we would feel lonely or left out so he wanted to take us to dinner after work. Howard was designated to come along as a translator, as our boss speaks about as much English as we speak Korean.
We were also informed that often your employer will give you a bonus for Chusok. However, LangCon Academy is a new school and struggling for money, so he told us we would be getting a ham gift set instead.
They let us end our work day an hour early and took us out to dinner. But before doing so, they came running out with our gift sets. A lovely ham gift set, how wonderful! It was actually Spam. Even better, Andrew and I each got a lovely Spam gift set. I had never had Spam before... I guess there is a first for everything. We looked kind of funny each walking out with a gift bag that said "SPAM" across the bag. Imagine coming across 15 or so people all carrying Spam bags. We felt a little silly.
Dinner was really delicious. Our boss gave us the option of Korean food, or American food if we were homesick. We decided to go Korean and they took us to a wonderful Tofu restaurant. It was the boss, his wife, their daughter (who Andrew and I both teach), the two secretaries, Howard, the Teaching Assistant, and the three foreign teachers. It was absolutely delicious!
As I've mentioned before Korean meals consist of tons and tons of food, several side dishes in addition to the main meal. One of the side dishes was an individual sized black pot. We were told it was extremely hot and we shouldn't touch it. Inside was a purple-ish rice with random vegetable chunks in it. We saw everyone scooping out the rice in to a bowl. We followed suit. There was a thin layer of rice that stuck to the bowl. It is the burnt stuff that usually takes scrubbing to get off. They came around and poured boiling water in to it and put a lid on it.
Later our boss took Andrew's top off and took a spoon and got all the rice off the edges. He did the same to his and then said, "special Korean soup," and started eating it. We didn't want to be rude and are willing to try just about anything once... so we did the same. It tasted like burned popcorn in water. I thought they had to be kidding, but everyone was really enjoying it. If you would like to try your own version follow my instructions below:
1. Boil water
2. Burn a bag of popcorn.
3. Put burned popcorn in the water. Let sit 10-15 minutes.
4. Enjoy!
It's just like Christmas!
Luckily we now have 12 cans of Spam and two bottles of Canola Oil.
We worked a 4.5 hour day and then we were off on a journey to Guam. We took a shuttle bus to the airport and had two hours until our flight left.
I thought this little boy was adorable... he was zooming around with his luggage.
Not a food court... but a food square.
The airport had a cultural experience center where we painted fans for free.
We finished minutes before our plane was to board, so we ran across the airport to catch our flight.
Nice work, Andrew!
They served us tofu on the plane. It came in what looked like a pudding cup. Now, I have had several tofu dishes and liked them... but this was plain and really not very good.
We landed in Guam at 2am. By the time we made it through customs and got to our hotel it was about 3am. We had to be up early the next morning to make it to the Korean consulate to get our visas. We rented a car for the two days so we could bum around the dinky island. Guam is often called a Japanese playground. So many Japanese people vacation in Guam that mostly everyone speaks Japanese... and our map we were given at the car rental place was in Japanese!
It took us forever to find the consulate. Once we filled out the paperwork we had about six hours to kill before we could go pick them up. We took a nap because we hadn't gotten very much sleep... then had a Taco Bell fix by the water. We were excited to get a little slice of America in those two days!
After getting our visas we did a bunch of shopping. There were a lot of things we realized we needed once we got to Korea but couldn't get... like shoes in my size. I didn't bring many pairs because I figured I didn't want to waste the room in my luggage. I thought I'd buy them in Korea. Well, as it turns out - they don't make shoes above a size 8! We had to do some emergency shoe shopping. We also raided a book store because we can't find much reading in English.
No Target. No Wal-Mart. Just K-Mart, with additional parking on the roof. We bought poptarts, cold medicine, spaghetti sauce, bigger pillows, and big bath towels for $3!
Feels good to drive again!
Our hotel was way bigger than our apartment. We will be taking pictures of our apartment soon!
The view from our room.
The view from our room.
The view from our room.
The view from our room.
The view from our room.
On day two we decided to get in a bunch of sight seeing. We had to fly out at 3am, so were going to cram in as much as we could. Our first stop was Two Lovers Point. Back in the day, there was a princess in Guam who was forbidden to marry the man she was in love with, she was supposed to marry a Spanish guy her dad set her up with. They decided to run away together but got caught by the military. They ran up to this cliff and tied their hair together and jumped the 500 foot drop to their deaths. It was absolutely beautiful!
Two Lovers Point.
Two Lovers Point.
Two Lovers Point.
It is very popular in Korea to lock up your love. Because Guam is very popular with Japan, we assume it is also very popular in Japan also. Lovers will write their names on a lock, and leave it usually in a very high place. Andrew and I were going to do this, but they had run out of locks. They said we could do it with a luggage tag, but some how that doesn't really have the same effect...
I had a Titanic moment... looking out at the Philippine Sea.
We then decided to take a trip down to the beach. Guam is obnoxiously hot. You step outside and are instantly sweating. It is not only hot, but humid. I don't know if I have ever experienced heat and humidity this strong. We usually didn't want to be outside too much, it was that hot. A swim sounded nice, but we were flying in a few hours and didn't really want wet swimsuits. So, we just waded in the water.
A lady walked up to us and asked if we wanted her to take a picture of us together. She then asked us how long we would be in Guam. When we told her we were flying out at 3am. She then gave us a bunch of places we should try and see before leaving. One of which was a church up on a cliff. It has a glass wall and glass alter in the back. She said if we knocked on the door they will let us in to take a peek.
We went there and there was a wedding going on. So we went back to our hotel for a little while. Andrew then decided he wanted to go back to the church on the cliff. He said we should get dressed up because after we were going to the Hilton to watch a Polynesian dance show for cocktails. So we got dressed up, and head off to the church.
No one was there to let us in so we walked around. Sure enough, here was the glass wall and the glass altar.
I was snapping pictures of the scenery, and then Andrew pulled me aside... and proposed on the cliff!
(I said yes.)
Andrew wanted a serious picture.
We then rang the bells at the church and ran away to our car.
Andrew then took me back to the bookstore so I could pick out some bridal magazines. He knows it will be a year until we are home and will be able to find them in English... so thoughtful!
We then headed to the Hilton for the Polynesian dance show. There was live music and even flame throwers!
Check out these videos of the flame dancers!
When we were at the Hilton I saw this massive doughnut. I thought it looked delicious so we got it as our engagement cake. I thought it was gross, so Andrew ate it himself.
After the show we packed up our things and headed to the airport for our 3am flight back to Korea. So all in all I think Guam was a pretty successful weekend! We became legal workers in Korea and got engaged! Not too bad, if you ask me!
